Monday, June 25, 2007

The Great Geisha Robbery

I finally wrote a proper pitch for a movie idea I patented a couple years ago:

"The Great Geisha Robbery. A small group of Geisha perform the unheard of: they put the most imposing imposing japanese crime sydicates to shame by beating them to the heist of the century."

.I'm sure any geisha experts will be able to point out any rules or boundary's I've crossed over, as the proffesion of a Geisha is quite specific. Doubtless csotume inaccuracies, so please, alert me of any mistakes if you see 'im. And no, I did not hold the movie "Memoirs Of a Geisha" as a credible resource, thanks to my asian friends who were quick to disrepute it. The book iteslf (despite the dictator suing the author) I held some confidence in....

I don't take the skytrain very often, which is a shame because you see the most interestingly-shaped people on it; women in this case.

I was on the skytrain to metrotown to catch up with my cousin, who moved out here from the small town I'm from (Cranbrook).

She's cooking at a catering comapany, and is taking culinary arts next month. For this reason she's almost as excited about "Ratatouille" as I am. This friday: I can't wait!

Monday, June 18, 2007

The Hog Of Baskervilles.

Now, call it little minded to refer to any creature as ugly: everything in its on way and all that. But wow....

Apparently it's a type of Swedish pig that grows wool... I'll have to use it's head for some sort of monster in the future. It's a bloody werepig.

This peice below is devoted to those enduring souls who biked in there birthday suits to promote alternative transportation. It's sheer unforetunate luck that they didn't do it a week earlier when the weather was accomodating...

Quina Quen (Final Fantasy IX)

The Qu have a very simple language comprising of warbles and chirps, usually performed by vibrating there protruding tongues. If one were to have the attention span to learn it, most of the interpretations would consist of sentences like: "Is this food?"; "Are you food?"; "do you/this place/it have any food" and "can I eat you food". Of course if you did translate that final sentence, it would most likely too late for you to answer "no". Qu's are seemingly androgynous, and how they reproduce is a curious mystery. But to the dismay of many they do. They don't mingle with outside civilizations very often, but when they do the complications of food and currency result in interesting consequences.

Qu's are all to often known for there limited minds and exremely unlimited stomaches, and this indeed qualifies for Quina far better than others. Quina has spent most of his/her life in the swamp catching her favorite food; live frogs. But her sensei Quale has insisted time and time again that Quina must go out into the world and broaden his/her palette. Only then can he/she hope to become a proper Gourmand; a form of warrior in the Qu circles. You see, a Qu's appetite is a means of survival in more ways then one. Qu's are magic creatures, but they obtain there strange powers from the different types of food they sample. Their trademark weapon is a giant fork the size of a battleaxe, and the beast they slay never go to waste, not matter how unapetizing they look. Quina is an exceptionally good cook, however, and can turn the most ghastly monstosity (animal or vegetable) into cuisine both attractive and delicious. It is almost as important for a Qu to introduce fine foods to those around it as it is to eat it. Almost.

Extremely innocent and oblivious to his/her surrounding most of the time, Quina is one of those characters who is on a completley different plane of reality. For a creature so easily understood, he/she can be so bloody perplexing. This is probably why he/she is one of the few characters who can get on Zidanes nerves; Zidane is used to being the one who flabergasts others. Zidane made the mistake of catching a frog for Quina when there paths crossed, and by the code of the Gourmand, Zidane is now Quina's guide to the outside world, where Quina can learn the ways of the Gourmand. Luckily Vivi's adopted grandfather was a Qu, so he has learned enough of there language to be abel to translate. This is not a helpful as one might think.

While Quina's motivations seem to be food and self-indulgance most of the time, his/her actions can often prove intelligent and noble in retrospect. Because he/she thinks in such an alien way, its course of action to solve a problem doesn't always seem to make sense.

Monday, June 11, 2007


I got to go to a Ratatouille lecture at the International Film Festival on Saturday. It give away too much of the film luckily: half the actual film footage they showed was already in the 9-minute clip.

Oh but the acting I've seen so far is some of the best I've seen them do yet (Yes, better then the Incredibles); no doubt because they have such great dialog and subject matter to work with. And the color palette is miles above there others. Even more impressive when they told me it was there tightest schedule yet, due to changing directors and rewriting (only 8 months for animation). I can't wait!

Garnet Til Alexandro's the Third, AKA Dagger (Final Fantasy IX)

Garnet is the product of home schooling: And about twice as much self-schooling. This education includes training in the excessively strident mannerisms and etiquette expected of a Queen's daughter; the a vast wealth of scientific and historic knowledge past down to her by her private teacher and closest friend Doctor Tot; and about every play and story attainable in Gaia literature and stage. This has resulted in a vocabulary that is absurdly vast, poetic and humorlessly articulate. And she exploits it mercilessly. Garnet has a tendency to reiterate and over -analyze. Despite her complete lack of real world experience (a problem she yearns to solve), Garnet is observant, insightful and inspiring. Provided you can listen to what she has to say in one sitting, and are able to understand half of what she says.

Garnet's bright but naive, and finds everything fascinating and a warrant for vast study. She has a particular affinity for insects, probably stemming from her mothers death screams whenever Garnet presented one to her (the insect's feelings were doubtlessly mutual). Her princess training was not wasted however, as Garnet is also obsessed with grooming and social graces. This is contradicted by her fear of being spoiled and self-important and is scared to outwardly command anything of anyone. Of course, her servants would sooner she tyrannically ordered them around then have to sit through one of her long-winded exhortations. Garnet has taken advantage of her servants short attention spans on many occasions; particularly her lifelong bodyguard, Steiner.

Steiner's over-protectiveness has exceeded Garnets tolerance more then once. Still, the share a camaraderies in there longing for creditability. Like Steiner, she yearns to be taken seriously, no doubt why she pours every ounce of her knowledge into every sentence. And like Steiner, this only seems further people's patronizing. Both she and Steiner are constantly entangled in contest to see who can condescend to the other the most.

Garnet was born with the gift of white magic: magic that can heal, protect and generally defend in various ways. Because of this she feels there are things far more constructive and helpful she could be doing with her time. Unfortunately she also has a second, far less benevolent talent, and in recent years her mother and her military has been taking an unsettlingly enthusiastic interest in it.

For this reason, Garnet now has a selfless excuse to leave her kingdom and set out on a long-awaited adventure. Sadly, she'll quickly learn that brightness and knowledge cannot make up for experience and exposure, and she will have to acquire them both quickly, so quickly that it could be paiful.

VIVI ORTUNA (Final Fantasy IX)

Vivi's late grandfather always advised Vivi to keep his black magic (magic for attacking purposes), under his hat, lest it attract unpleasant attention. Consequently, Vivi seems to keep everything under his hat. The adorable Vivi is a walking imbodiment of repression. Shy and quiet, Vivi's ongoing goal in his young life is to avoid drawing attention to himself and to avoid confrontation. But to his despair things just seem to happen around him, and the lighter he tries to tread the more trouble seems to draw to him. But, his dieing grandfather's last request was that Vivi leave there mountain home and make some friends, perhaps find a second creature who looks like him; hopefully helping him overcome his identity crisis. Vivi and Zidane form a bond shortly after meeting based on there longing to find another person that looks like them.

He's the most polite and unobtrusive little boy you could ever meet, yet he seems to have a big impact on everyone around him. When asked his opinion, Vivi is all too happy to pull his hat over his face and mumble until his antagonizer loses interest. He'd be happy in his role as the bemused spectator of human life, yet his very presence seems to resolve most violent of quarrels. His face may be somewhat nonexistent, but its impossible to stay angry in front of it.

His curiosity is all most equal to Garnet's, but he's not nearly as willing to expose it. But then Vivi has great difficulty exposing any of his emotions. This results in them erupting from him all at once from time to time, often in the form of an overwhelming blast of fire or lightning from his magic fingers. He'll have to a back bone soon, however; his upcoming discoveries will place more burden on him then any nine-year-old should endure.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Sarah's going the JB!

One of my best friends just got an internship at "Jame's Baxter" Studio in LA. Yeah Sarah! This was a goodbye card I made for her. She's "Tealin" on Blogspot (links on my blog), and is one of the finest draftsman I know.

"Hello, police? I'd like to report an elephant in my birdbath."

Yet another obscure cartoon by my hero. Credit to my pal Sean Covernton for finding in for me....

Aldebert Steiner: Final Fantasy IX

Affectionately known as "Rusty", Steiners worn and Ill-fitting armor has made him a subject for ridicule (in addition to many more deserving things...), but it's endurance is as stubborn as the man who wears it.

A respected knight in his youth, Steiner has been reduced to personal bodygaurd for Alexandrias princess. In her infant years, the princess underwent a cruel operation under her parents command, and Steiners protests on the matter cost him his rank. He would have been discharged altogether, but the princess refused to stop crying after her experience unless Steiner was nearby. Steiner was officially allowed to keep his title as Captain of Alexandrias Pluto Knights, but nobody really takes him seriously or considers him capable of anything beyond babysitting. Since then Steiner has been struggling to reclaim his honor. He has also developed an overzealous obedience to the Queen, for fear of being repremanded again.

Therein lies the tragic humor of Steiner: he's desperate for respect, but tries to hard to get it and only pushes himself farther away from aquiring it. He announces his full title upon every introduction, as if to remined people his is still at equal rank with his rival: The lovely Captain Beatrix. He's not stupid, he's just blinded by his own stubborn pride; not to mention his naive obedience to the crown. He's strong and unshakable physically, but emotionally he's extememly insecure and sensitive. This is possibly what makes him so clumsy and awkward; somthing the rougish Zidane becomes aware of and exploits mercilessly. When Steiner is outraged or insulted, he becomes flusterred and loses all coordination. Plus it's hard to take his seriously with his armor clanking wherever he goes.

His redeeming factor is his devotion to Princess Garnet: perhaps he feels indebted to her for saving his job. But now that she's become a teenager, there are times he would rather face the armies for the underworld then face another one of her moodswings. The princess has great appreciation for him regardless, and dotes on him constantly. This is essentiall the only form of consolation he gets from anyone, and even in doing so she robs him of his pride just like everyone else.